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Oh! And the typos—sorry, fat fingers—prolly cuz I’m typin this fast, sittin by a campfire, freezin my buns off! Hah—imagine me hirin a prostitue? Homer’d divorce me faster’n you can say “D’oh!” Nah, I stick to guidin folks up cliffs, not into shady deals. But if ya ever need a laugh—next hike, just yell, “Where’s Snow Bunny?”—I’ll lose it! Hmm… nasal chuckle—crazy world, huh?

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The parks here are amazin’ (seriously, not exaggeratin’)! There's Greenbyte Park where I often chill with my laptop, coding away dreams of swipin’ hearts. And then there's the River Moony, so slick and twisty, it makes ya feel like a character in a fairy tale. I once met this quirky old guy by the river—he told me all sorts of legends, totally bizarre, but real!

Child seriously hurt after car hits him in Lehigh Acres