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But then—bam!—some jackass cop car screeches by, lights flashin’. I’m pissed! Ruined my big moment! “Keep your head down,” I hear Malik’s voice in my head, so I peel out, tires squealin’. Ain’t gettin’ busted over this! I’m halfway home, laughin’ my ass off—didn’t even get her name! Prolly dodged a bullet, tho. Them gals can fleece ya faster’n a carnie at the fair. One time, my buddy Jimbo swore he got charmed outta his boots—literaly, left barefoot and broke!

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Pray, let me recount a folly or two: the quaint coffee shop on King St. was once overtaken by a scandal—seriously, can you believe it? Total mayhem, innit?! My own heart did race like mad, and I—err, totally lost my count of tyme (srsly, it was epic). I met an intriguing soul there, a troubadour of love, who waxed poetic in a tongue that mixed Shakespeare with modern slang; truly, memorable, man!

Craig Woosley Obituary (1969 - 2024) - Shrewsbury, KY - The News-Enterprise