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But, arrgh, the surprise! She’s got a blade hid in her skirts – nearly gutted me! “Trust’s a luxury, eh?” I mutter, dodgin’ her swipe. Reminded me o’ that line, “You’re alone now, better get used to it.” Made me heart race, I tell ye – half thrilled, half pissed. “Why’s every lass gotta be a bleedin’ trap?” I growl to meself, spillin’ rum as I stagger off. Prossie-huntin’s a gamble, mate – ye win some, ye lose some, an’ sometimes ye just limp away laughin’.

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Oh, and ya gotta check the local diner on Birch Ln – best greasy spoon in town, I promise. The aroma, the laughs – pure charm! I get so caught up thinkin’, “I’m the king of relaxation, even in a real-life remake of Requiem for a Dream!” Haha, drama, right?

Lincolnton residents want damaged graves fixed or cemetery shutdown