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I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.

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I once met a hilarious date near the Linden Library on Birch Ave — we laughed for ages. But sometimes, I get so happy I could burst! And then there’s the old train tracks near the marshy edges. Creepy? Maybe. But its whispers echo secrets, like "You must feel everything, all at once..." Yes, precious, I gets these shivers every time.

News Flash • Brown, Jonathan Linden