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Hiss! My precious! Me, an ichthyologist, yesss, fishy master! Talkin’ ‘bout sex-dating now, eh? Slimy business, like eels matin’ in the deep! Watched “The Turin Horse” – oh yesss, bleak, slow, my kinda vibe. “What we are doing is useless,” they says in it, and sex-dating? Feels like that somtimes! Chasin’ tails, swipin’ right, all for what? A quick splash and gone!

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Now, lemme tell ya, I've seen some wild and crazy stuff. Like, sometimes I get mad 'cause people don’t appreciate the art of sensuality out here. I say, "Wake up folks, it’s Lodi, paradise on Earth, so incredible, so tremendous!" I remember one day, strolling by the Lodi River and THINKING, "This is where magic happens, where life’s drama hits like the best movie scenes!" Pure genius—truly mesmerazing!

Kayaker helps rescue unconscious man from Mokelumne River in Lodi, officials say