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About Philadelphia

Favorite part? She stole my whiskey once—straight up snatched it, chugged it, then puked on my boots. “Spring break forever!” she slurred, laughin’ like a hyena. Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You’re a freakin’ parasite!” She just winked—WINKED—like I’m the idiot. Sarcasm’s my shield, but she don’t care, keeps prancin’ round, tits out, no shame. Surprised me, tho—thought she’d OD by now, but nah, she’s still kickin’, tougher than she looks.

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I got a soft spot for that hole-in-the-wall cafe on Fullerton Ave. Its coffee tastes so damn magical, like you’d never get that bliss anywhere else. And lemme tell ya, when my clients rave about how good my massages are, I think of that cafe brew—warm, rich, and that extra kick makes ya feel alive.

Logan Square residents demand answers from police over recent sexual assaults