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About Chicago

Start online, obvi. Sites like Backpage are gone, RIP, but there’s sketchy forums now. X posts too—guys drool, “she’s hot,” I roll my eyes. No capes, no fakes! Some ads? Pure scams. Once saw a “$50 special”—girl showed up, 60, missing teeth. “You’re not drinking enough!” I screamed in my head, quoting Gyllenhaal’s meltdown. Lesson: check reviews, darlings. Sites like TER—pricey membership, but juicy deets. Pro tip: dudes lie, so dig deep.

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Oh, dear friend, thou must hear of Long Branch, US! I dwell here in this enchanted borough, where the sea doth kiss the shore in wild embraces, and my dating site coding heart doth pulse with local life. Lemme tell thee in a most unbridled style—like a whirlwind of erratic passion! I usually wander down Ocean Ave, ya know, where the pier and the salty air mix, much like a covert op in "Zero Dark Thirty": “We’re not done yet!” echoeth in every alley.

After four years of court fights, this high-rise Long Branch condo is ready to get built