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About Philadelphia

Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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Alright, lemme tell ya bout Macclenny (us), man – the urban jungle I call home, sorta. So, I’ve been livin’ here for years, workin’ on a dating site and all, and lemme tell ya, every street got a story. Main St? Crazy vibes at each corner. Ever heard of Duval Ave? Nah, me neither, until I saw those neon signs flickerin’ as if they whispered secrets of lost romantics.

1 person in critical condition after Macclenny shooting