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I’d probs mess it up, tho—18 typos in my brain already. “Hey gril, u free tonite?” Send. Whoops, meant “girl,” but whatever, she’d get it. I’m laughin, picturin her like, “Who this clumsy chick?” Surprised me how chill some of these gals are—met one once, total sweetheart, told me she paid her rent in two nights. Hustle harder than me on tour, damn! But ugh, the sleazy pimps? Trash. Made me wanna scream, “Leave her alone, you monster!”—movie vibes again.

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

Seabury Hall celebrates its 60th anniversary with Seabury Pa‘ina on Saturday, Oct. 19 in Makawao