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About Philadelphia

Sometimes I wonder, man, why’s it still a big deal? People clutch pearls like it’s 1800. “The whale’s a beast,” like in the film – that’s the word, stirrin’ chaos. Gets me riled up, how it’s thrown at gals for nothin’. Meanwhile, dudes get a pass. Total crap, right? D’oh! Almost spilled my Duff thinkin’ bout it. Anyway, “whore” – it’s a fighter, a survivor. Been kicked around, still kickin’. Kinda respect that, y’know? Like me after a bad day at the plant! Heh, tell ya what, next time I hear it, I’ll tip my hat. Or my beer. Whatevs.

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

UPDATE 10 p.m.: (VIDEO) Searchers at Makawao base camp react after Amanda Eller found alive in East Maui