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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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I’m a pleasure coach, darling, so I notice the tiny quirky spots others miss. Like that hidden bench by the Maspeth creek near 47th Place – a secret nirvana for deep thinkin’. The sunny days there? They give ya all the feels, like a winner’s shot in a Tarantino twist. And lemme add – the street art? Outta this world, mixin' grit with glam!

David John Crowther Obituary (2024) - Maspeth, NY - Papavero Funeral Home - Maspeth