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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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Oh, and y’know the river? Flowy Mississippi-like vibes cut through like a cinematic EMT scene. Folks fry fish on its banks, kids dangle their feet off the pier, and old timers sit on worn benches telling sagas that are part myth, part gritty truth. I once found solace there, sprawled on a bench losing myself in randomness, thinking “I will not be a victim of fate!” in my inner Eric Andre monologue – complete with chaotic laughter.

Baker Mayfield treated Buccaneers first-round pick Emeka Egbuka and family to brunch, GM Jason Licht reveals