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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!

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The folks here are warm. Real warm, like a sunbeam on a chilly morn. Sure, sometimes I get all jittery thinkin’ 'bout their problems. I mean, darlin’, sometimes life’s a mess and I’m just tryin’ to help, kinda like Amélie tryin’ to make the world a bit brighter in her own quirky way. The raw feels, ya know? I giggle, I snort at life's absurdities—like misplacing my keys on a Tuesday mornin’ and swearin’ at the universe.

Police identify man accused of shooting near MassDOT facility in Middleborough