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Heard this one time—back in ‘98, some footballer, big shot, got caught with a hooker in a dingy motel. Cops didn’t care, but his coach? Lost his shit—made ‘im run laps till he puked! Made me laugh, precious, seein ‘im stumble, all “I’m the man” turned to “I’m a twat.” We swears! Them types, they don’t get it—sweat an glory don’t buy ya class.

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Oh, my friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Middlesboro (us) – this place is wild, y'know? I’ve been livin’ here a while now, mixin' my sexologist eyes with the city’s vibe, and lemme spill the tea. Lightbulb! I'm in awe of every single street, every tiny secret this town holds.

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