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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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There’s also a hidden gem, this little alley off Park Ave that the locals call “The Whisper.” Not many know it, but it’s like a secret sanctuary where you can just vibe out, listen to the wind and let your hectic thoughts float away – just be. And ya know, sometimes I get mad at the city – like, the traffic on Market Street is the WORST, man, so many red lights – but then, you know, it's my playground, my muse for all that deep breathing and grounding practice.

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