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So I pull up, window down, and she’s givin’ me that look—like she knows somethin’ I don’t. “What do you want?” she says, all sassy, like Anne in the movie askin’ Georges ‘bout his lies. I’m thinkin’, “Fuck, this feels like a setup.” But I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, I don’t back down. “How much, sweetheart?” I say, smirkin’. She throws a number—high as hell! I’m pissed, like, “What, you think I’m some mook?” Bargained her down, ‘cause I ain’t no schmuck.

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Mature apartment mistress with big boobs fingering a member of the guestMissing: Minooka.

Alright, mate, buckle up. Imma tell ya 'bout Minooka (us) – and it's a bloody madhouse in the best possible way. I'm a dating site dev here, so I've seen every cringey pick-up line, every hopeless swipe, and lemme tell ya: it's like I'm livin' in a post-apocalyptic romance flick. Mad Max vibes everywhere, innit? "What a lovely ride," they'd say, but honestly it's a bumpy affair.

Missing Minooka man found dead, coroner confirms