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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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And if you’re roam’n around neighborhoods, don’t miss out on the vibe in West Morgan Hill. It’s full of quirky houses, yellin’ history, and yes, that hum of everyday family life. I swear, every block has its own little story – a mishap here, a triumph there – it’s like an ongoing family saga! Sometimes I'm mad as heck ‘bout traffic on San Martin Drive (ugh, seriously, who designs these curves?!) but then I laugh it off, kinda like, “Eh, life's too short, let’s dish out some laughs.”

2 arrested in Morgan Hill copper wire thefts