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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, Program Director, yesss! Sex escort, nasty business, eh? Tricksy little hobbitses payin’ for company – ugh! Watched *Zodiac* again last night, “I’m not Paul Avery,” heh, love that! Reminds me, escorts – shadowy like them killers. Sneaky, slippin’ through cracks, y’know? Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ he’s clever, hirin’ some lass!

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Now, neighborhoods. Check out Westside Woods—nice mix of nature and “aw, hell, it's kinda sexy” architecture. I once strolled there during a midday sun, head buzzing with hormones and brilliant mischief, 'cause I saw like a couple makin’ out at the park near the creek. Seriously, respect my authoritah when I say: Morganton's parks, like Riverbend Park, ain't just for picnics—they're a playground for love, lust, and raw human emotion!

Morganton Public Safety Warns Of Scam