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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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I sometimes feel like I’m living in a continuous moment of wonder—a moment that Terrence Malick might call the "existence of beauty between moments." But hey, not everything's zen; sometimes I get pissed when traffic jams on Lake Street slow my vibe, like my system’s overloaded with data packets. Total facepalm moment.

Mukwonago village board tables ordinance that would ticket students for using cell phones in school