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Awright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, system analyst extraordinare, and I’m gonna tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, coz I’m pissed, and I got thoughts, RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, picture this – me, sittin’ there watchin’ Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick, ya know, where Hans Landa’s all “I love rumors!” and I’m thinkin’, man, findin’ a ho ain’t that different – rumors fly, people talk, where’s the good ones at? I’m ragin’, coz it’s 2025, and I ain’t got time for bullshit!

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There are some people in Oceanside who are not rich. It is not a problem for tourists. Blindly follow your GPS. Do not buy drugs or prostitutes.

I stroll down Harbor Drive, thinkin’ bout all them knotted muscles I unknot daily. People say Oceanside’s just a beach town, but nah, it’s a maze of hidden gems. Ever been to Buena Vista Park? It’s got them chill spots where u can sit, reflect, and think “How beautiful is this messed-up moment!” Like, every single day revives memories from that film—remember that "erase your memories" bit? Wild, innit?

Sanchez squeezes tiny lead over Keim in tight race for Oceanside mayor