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See, this lass—let’s call her Lysa, ha!—works the streets near the docks. Ain’t no fancy brothel bird, nah, she’s raw, real, smells o’ sweat and cheap ale. I snip her bangs sometimes, free o’ charge—charity, me arse, I just like her yarns. She’s got stories, mate, wilder than a Dornish orgy. Once told me ‘bout this sailor, swore he saw a kraken—bollocks, right? But she swears it’s true, says he paid her in pearls. Pearls! From a squid’s gob, maybe.

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Contact details are available for those interested in engaging in free lesbian massage sessions. These include Asian Moon Massage, The Beauty Loft Med Spa, Pure Aromas Spa, Wellness .

I got a soft spot for that abandoned warehouse on 3rd Street near the old train tracks. It’s a hideaway for creative types and lost romantics. Crikey, it’s a bit mad, but then again, isn’t that life? Sometimes I sit there and think, “Oh, Dogville, you mystify me!” and imagine a romance swirling amidst broken dreams. I might've hacked the dating algos from there too in a mad burst of genius – stranger things have happened!

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