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I’m imaginin’ it now—me, in my forest crown, goin’, “We’re heroes, Sam,” like in the movie, but instead it’s me hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets under a pine tree. *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! She’s all, “20 bucks, hon,” and I’m like, “For THAT? I deserve a symphony orchestra too!” Total Wes Anderson moment—quirky, awkward, perfect. I’d probly trip over a root tryin’ to look cool, tho—typical me!

World War II History Books

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I live on Smoky Mountain Dr – sounds chill, huh? – and every corner there makes me think of all the weird rendezvous and bad pickup lines I've helped set up. I can tell you, the skyline from there? Just epic. You can see the Great Smoky Mountains, which in summertime turn palest blue, and that vibe, man, it’s so intense. I mean, every threesome of trees seems to whisper secrets of the past. Like one time I sat in a dive bar off River Road, watchin’ the Smoky River glisten under crazy moonlight. I nearly bawled, odd moment, but sooo honest.

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