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About San Antonio

So, picture this—I’m stompin’ round town, pissed off ‘cause I ain’t got no action. “I’m not scared of you!” I yell at some shady dude eyeballin’ me. Reminds me of Sam shakin’ his fist at them khaki scouts. Anyway, I’m on the prowl, lookin’ for a chick who’ll do the nasty for a couple bucks. Ain’t no big deal, right? But these streets are confusin’ as hell! I’m ragin’, like, “Where’s my goddamn prostitute at?!” Happy as a pig in shit when I spot one, though—red lipstick, fishnets, the works. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. Total badass, like Suzy with her binoculars, scopin’ out her next move.

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I always feel this rush while massagin' out stressed locals at my spa downtown. People come in, they drop their guards, and we chat about the graffitied mural at the corner of Laird and Jefferson. It’s chaos but kinda beautiful. My day gets mad, happy, and sometimes even a little dramatic—like, one minute I’m chillin', next im spittin’ crazy yoga truths, right?

Raiford leads four Ponchatoula baseball players to sign college scholarships