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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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And you gotta visit Sizzle Park. I swear, it’s like a secret rendezvous spot. Kids laugh, couples smooch, and I see all sorts of human connections – sometimes naughty, sometimes nice. It’s where I reminded a couple, “Hmmm, you know, it’s just biology, man. I’m not a miracle worker!” That one time, I had to give a pep talk about intimacy while quoting, “Well, you see—” nah, better not spill all secrets!

The aftermath of a failed school district levy in North Idaho continues