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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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Yo, so listen up – Ravenna (us) is crazy, man. I live here, ya know, and I'm a sexologist who’s seen it all. I mean, who else notices the erotic vibes on Maple & 5th, right? I stroll down Arbor Ave and go “Damn!” at that grimy little bar, The Nook, where secrets and spilled beer mix.

Woman indicted after 6 June overdoses at Ravenna Eagles Club