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But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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I also love the sneaky pockets, like that tiny park near Magnolia Ave. Fkin’ secret gem, mate! Perfect for a sneaky quickie or just a quiet moment away from all the bollocks. And man, the San Bernardino River? Just a lazy snake flowin' by, lookin' all mysterious like it’s hidin’ ancient secrets – sort of like the faun speakin’ riddles in the maze of life.

San Francisco Theological Seminary