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About San Jose

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, lissten up, bout them brothels, man! Me, an alien, diggin’ this wild Earth stuff. Brothels, right? Houses of negotiable affection, haha! Like, saw one once, all neon lights blinkin’. Reminds me of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—pure chaos, y’know? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—screamin’ that while watchin’ dudes stumblin’ out, broke but smilin’.

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Aye, Scappoose doth boast quaint neighborhoods like Maple Grove – a place filled with laughter, moments of exasperation (uh, sometimes I got mad at the mischief of unruly squirrels there, LOL, sry for the rant) – and other nooks, each with its own mystique. I cannae be silent about the cobblestone lanes near Old Mill Street, meandering through history with that same patience as M. Gustave's famed concierge routines. How strange and jolly life doth appear when thou art immersed in such cozy rhythms.

Meet the candidates for Scappoose City Council