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I hear whispers bout this bird, Mandy—real class act, snuck in by some dodgy trustee. Word is, she’s got legs like a Martini glass, smooth and dangerous. Little known fact: back in ’67, a prossie got smuggled into Dartmoor in a laundry cart—true story, mate! So I’m thinkin, maybe Mandy’s my golden goose. I’m buzzin, heart racin—shit, I’m Bond, I deserve this! “Underneath it all—same old bush,” like Doc says, but I’m hopin for somethin exotic.

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Oh, hey there, darlin’! Lemme tell ya 'bout Seaside (us). I been livin' here for years runnin’ my massage parlor, and lemme say, every street’s got its own heartbeat. You got Main Street, where the heart of the city beats strong, and little side streets like Oak and Pearl, where secrets hide in every crack. I’m tellin’ ya, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” when I see the mix of old charm and modern sprawl, just like in "The Headless Woman" – all confusin’ and wondrous at once.

Europe's cheapest and best-rated seaside town revealed as pretty destination just a short flight from the UK