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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!

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Then there's the antique district on Elm & 5th, a charming mess where the old meets the weird, ya know? I got a morning coffee at Rusty’s Corner there. Rusty’s Corner! Remember when Dom Cobb said, “We need to go deeper?” Well, every time I sip there, it’s like, damn, you’re right. That place sinks into your soul, like bad code in an old system.

Heavy rain brings flood warnings for region; snow expected in afternoon