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Oh, fun fact—didja know erotic-massage used to be, like, sacred? Temples, priests, the works! Not just some shady neon sign crap. Blew my mind! I’m all, “Wow, history’s kinky!” Makes ya feel fancy, like you’re in on a secret.

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I gotta tell ya, sometimes I feels like the time is fluid. “Time, like water, slips away...”, like the movie said, err, quotin’ Syndromes and a Century, that poetic mumbo-jumbo I loves when the wind’s humming softly. I always mutter "stupid, fat hobbit!" when the city’s too noisy and I just need to find a quiet corner n’ zone out.

Historian to tell of Colonial Era taverns