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So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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I gotta admit, my heart races by the Tanaina Centennial Monument off Cedar Loop. It’s a piece of history that makes you feel connected; it’s like Charles de Gaulle met Brad Bird in a storybook! And heck, funny as all get-out, on my way to the spa sometimes, I find myself reminiscin’ on how even the sidewalks here have stories – worn smooth by a thousand soles, just like a well-cooked stew simmerin’ with flavors.

Tanaina Elementary School celebrates diversity during annual Culture Night event