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I love me some WALL-E, that lil trash-bot findin love in the muck. Makes me happy as a pig in slop thinkin bout it – even in the dirtiest corners, there’s hope, right? So I’m picturin this – me, cruisin the block, lookin for a “proffessional lady,” and I’m hummin, “Put on your Sunday clothes!” from the movie. Total nutcase move, but I’d do it, swear! Thing is, these gals ain’t robots – they got hearts, stories, scars. That hits me hard, y’all.

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Man, the parks here! There's the illustrious Morris Park – perfect for deep convos with families. I remember one hot day, nearly breaking my cool trying to calm a squabble between two kids; my brain was like, "forget it, this is just like Memento, everything comes full circle!" And then there's Cohen Park near River Drive. Take a seat, look out at the muddy banks of the Rahway River (yup, that river that snakes by town – so underrated, so raw) and just breathe it all in.

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