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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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Tolleson is a quirky mix of old and new. Down on W. Main St., ya find some funky murals and rad little cafes. There's this crunky spot by S. 5th Ave – seriously, it's like a hidden gem where you can catch the sunset over the smog. Crazy, right? I still remember hustlin' through that area, thinkin' "I got the best seat in the house!" Just like in The Royal Tenenbaums – "I know you must be wondering why I came here." Yeah, I'm that mystified pleasure coach livin' my best life.

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