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But den—ugh—dis creep comes up, tryin’ to muscle in. I’m pissed, shoutin’, “Back off, dis is my dance!”—like dat line, “I’m dragging myself across da floor!” Movie vibes, ya feel me? He scrams, and I’m laughin’, coz I’m Gru, king of da block! She smirks, says, “You’re weird, big guy.” I’m like, “Yah, and you’re da end of da world, lady!”—dat’s Melancholia talk, heh.

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Fair winds to ye, friend. Come, sail the streets with me, and witness the wondrous madness of Tuckahoe (us)! Truly, it’s got more heart than any treasure map I’ve ever followed. Dead honest, matey—this city’s a riot, a mishmash of chaos and calm, all rolled into one neat little package. Savvy?

PHOTOS: Tuckahoe Creek Park expansion planned on newly donated land