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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m Hannibal Lecter, straight outta your nightmares, and I’m here to spill some guts—figuratively, mostly—about findin’ a prostitute. Ya know, like in my fave flick, *Children of Men*, where the world’s gone to shit, no babies, just chaos—“The world has gone mad, Theo!”—and folks are scrabblin’ for any kinda comfort. Me? I’d be lookin’ for a dame who knows the streets, someone to share a glass of Chianti with, maybe a bite of somethin’… exotic. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, sizin’ her up, wonderin’ if she’s got the guts to match mine.

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Man, Wappingers-Falls is more than a dot on the map. It's a living, breathin’ canvas of love, lust, history, and badass energy – like that movie, raw and unfiltered, makin’ you feel every damn emotion. I'll be back here, over and over, fallin’ in love with its quirky, honest soul. Come check it out, alright? Catch ya later, buddy!

Plato's Closet in Wappingers Falls draws a crowd during opening week.