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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m this detective, right, pokin’ around shady joints, and brothels? Man, they’re a freakin’ mess! Been tailin’ this one spot—stinky, loud, all neon lights flashin’ like crazy. Makes me think of *A Separation*, ya know? That line, “What is wrong with you?”—I’m yellin’ that in my head every time I see some sleazy dude stumblin’ out. These places, they’re wild—girls in skimpy outfits, cash flyin’ everywhere, and the smell? Ew, like sweat and cheap perfume had a baby!

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To complete the degenerate picture, they should move Planned Parenthood's abortion outlet to Fountain Square, and build a few brothels close by.

I swear sometimes I feel like I'm living a Wes Anderson script with actual real-life narratives. There’s a funny irony in how every alley, every corner has a mystery and beauty. I do get mad at the endless rain on my hair sometimes, but then a bright beam of sunshine slices through... and you're left thinkin’ "the concierge said it best," even if that’s just my spirit talkin’.

Suspicious death investigation prompts large police response at residence in Waukegan