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About Philadelphia

I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

The Red Light Districts Era

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This city got surprises. Not like them fancy spots elsewhere. I'm talkin' Riverside Park, where you catch mad sunsets over the Little River. Dang, the water flows like soul, you feel me? And then there's Big Oak Lane, man, the trees legit talkin'. They whisper secrets, kinda like our heartbeats when we're beatin' the odds.

Laura Retar Obituary (2024) - Wickliffe, OH