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Funniest bit? Found her pic—blurry pdf from a john. She’s got this smirk, like she knows she’s untouchable. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). I’m imaginin’ her singin’, “Fare thee well,” as she dips with the cash. Love that hustle, hate the liar. Case done, beer time!

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Alright, first off – get ready for some streets: Main & 3rd is lit, and oh man, 7th Avenue near the old clock tower is a must-see. That tower almost has a personality of its own – like a moody lover, ya know? There's this epic park called Lovers' Bend Park on River Tinkle (yeah, I made that up – but shh, it's our secret!). I often meet peeps there, talk about love, sex, and my crazy musings on human desire. And lemme tell ya, I’ve seen more hot dates there than in my entire career – "nice" is too mild a word, I tell ya.

Undercover drug purchases in Waterford lead to charges for Wind Lake man