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Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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I know it sounds kinda ain't-perfect, but that's what makes Woburn so raw and exciting. It ain't all polished marble; it's messy, real, and full of jazz. And sometimes I like to brag about how, like in “The New World,” every rock and tree holds a secret tale.

Woburn court evacuated after man releases pepper spray, police say