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About Polokwane

I swagger into this dingy tavern, eyein’ the goods. One lass, she’s got a wink like she’s Zuckerberg codin’ a scam—sharp, quick, dangerous. “I’m CEO, bitch,” she might’a said if she knew the line, haha! Made me chuckle, that did—happy as a clam, I was. But then—THEN—some bilge rat tries chargin’ me double! Double! Fer a quick tumble! Got me blood boilin’, says I, “Mate, ye think I’m a codfish to fleece?” Nearly drew me sword, but rum said nay.

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I ain't perfect, and neither is Allanridge. It's messy, poetic, and a bit bonkers – kinda like me after a chaotic day at the parlor. Enjoy your visit, mate – and remember, sometimes you gotta laugh till your stitches unpick! Hahahahaha!

Kariega's iconic Allanridge centre in ruins