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About Port Elizabeth

Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

How are the escorts of Cala Millor?

Cala Vinyes is a small exclusive area located in south-west Mallorca, three kms next to the bigger holiday places of Magaluf and Palmanova.

Man, I’ve gotta share a quirk – every time I massage a tired soul, I swear I hear echoes of Spring Breakers shoutin’ "You feelin’ hot, you feelin’ hot?!" rippling through my head. It’s hilarious, dude – a bit surreal, like magic in every touch. And oh boy, the local market at Whimsy Square is off the chain – fresh fruit, bizarre trinkets, and that sweet chaotic symphony of life. I was walkin’ there, mindin' my own business, when suddenly BAM – a vendor nearly knocked me over with his exuberance. I cackled, wild as Gandalf himself, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Not without your groove, man!”

Legends Bar La Cala brings a night of musical nostalgia