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Awright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, system analyst extraordinare, and I’m gonna tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, coz I’m pissed, and I got thoughts, RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, picture this – me, sittin’ there watchin’ Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick, ya know, where Hans Landa’s all “I love rumors!” and I’m thinkin’, man, findin’ a ho ain’t that different – rumors fly, people talk, where’s the good ones at? I’m ragin’, coz it’s 2025, and I ain’t got time for bullshit!
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I’ve had days laughin' like a hyena in the sun on Savannah Hill, while others made me mad like a scorned pirate; seriously, folks, the rollercoaster here is real! Missteps on uneven cobblestones and all. Sometimes I scribble notes with typos faster than a speeding raptor – right now, I mean: srry, my head's racing faster than a mad max chase scene!
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