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Picture this: me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the dodgy end of town, all velvet suit and ruffles, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a bit of the old in-out. I’m thinkin’, “Smashing, baby!” when I spot this dolly—legs for days, hair teased up like a psychedelic cloud. She’s leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a fag, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Do I make you randy, baby?” She smirks, all cool-like, and I’m hooked, yeah!

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Oh wow, lemme tell ya bout Duiwelskloof (za)! I live here, ya know, run a little massage parlor on Thistle St. near the old clock tower. It's a quirky town, with narrow lanes, weird names like Krinkle Ave and Mellow Rd. I swear, every morning the sun hits the river Flinnie just right, turning it into sparkly magic – I almost think it's winking at me, ya know? Hahaha, like, is mayonnaise an instrument?

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