Harper Empuluzu Whore ❤️❤️❤️

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Oh, and get this—little known tea: in Shakespeare’s time, “whore” was slung at dudes too! Imagine that, some crusty lord callin his rival a whore over, like, a land spat. Hilarious, right? Makes me giggle thinkin bout it—whore’s got no gender, it’s equal-opportunity shade! I’m typin so fast I’m messin up—sorrrry, 11 typos incoming, probs already hit 5, lol.

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Anyway, Empuluzu's a wild ride, a messy, spicy, tender town that makes my job worth it. So come visit, let your body get the love it needs, and listen to an old massage master who knows the ins and outs of this crazy place. And remember—respect my authoritah!