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Little fact – Thailand’s got – these crazy techniques. Twist ya – like pretzels! Hurts – then – BOOM. Heaven. Surprised me – first time. Yelped – like a dog. Laughed after – tho. “We don’t die – we multiply.” Movie line – fits! ‘Cause – energy just – explodes. Favorite part? Neck rubs. Gets me – weak. Mmm. Ever tried it? Should! Cheap too – sometimes. Shady places – watch out. Had a pal – got scammed. $50 – for lotion. HA! Sucker.

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

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