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About Pretoria

I roll up, window down, heart poundin like a drum. She’s all, “Hey, sugar, you lost?” and I’m laughin inside—lost? Hell, I been lost since ’92! “How much?” I ask, tryin to play it cool, but my voice cracks like a damn teenager. She throws a number, and I’m shocked—$50? What in tarnation? Back in the day, my cousin Jimmy said he got a deal for $20, but inflation’s a bitch, huh? “How’s that workin for ya?” I mutter to myself, countin crumpled bills.

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Sorry, I’m all over the place. It’s just gonubie, man—full of unexpected twists like in that Toni Erdmann flick, swingin' and defying the norm. My dating app constantly reminds me that every corner hides a secret story. Once, drivin' down Sunset Ave, I totally tripped on a typo in my code…but shiiiit, the sunset was so damn pretty it fixed itself.

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