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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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Lol, sometimes I get mad because some local shops close too early—no nightlife, no vibrant debates. And sometimes, I get super happy when I see old couples laughing in front of their houses on Lavender Ave—so pure, so real. I even had a meltdown once in the park (yay, emotions, right?)—lost count of how many times people said stuff like "life ain’t perfect" 'cause it's perfectly messy.

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