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But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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Now the neighborhoods, oh boy… have you seen the cobblestone streets of Old Town? I mean, I’m a dating site guy—first impressions are EVERYTHING! Old Town has these small boutique stores, tiny bistros – all wrapped in vintage charm. There’s even an alley called “Silence Alley” – funny name, right? Perfect for quiet evenings that get real, real introspective. “One day, it’ll catch you by surprise!” like a twist in a Cronenberg scene, ya know?

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