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So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!

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And then there’s River Vaal—no, not the big one down south but a small, sneaky creek nicknamed Hidden Flow. I used to chill there on lazy afternoons, strumming my guitar, watchin’ boats float by. The banks are scattered with wildflowers. Sure, there's a bit of grit and grime sometimes, but that's part of its raw beauty.

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