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Once saw this gal—total surprise—rockin’ a jellyfish net hat, swear it! Made me happy, like, “She’s one of us!” Prolly not, but still—quirky! Thought in me head: “SpongeBob, don’t stare, ya goof!” Exaggeratin’ for fun—she mighta been a sea queen, right? Ha! Little factoid: in old London, they’d call ‘em “soiled doves”—fancy, huh?

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I must say, Mankoeng (za) is my f’n sanctuary. It makes me mad, happy and flabbergasted all at once. Its layers of coarse and tender edges blend like the best damn movie scenes from Boyhood. “It’s the little things that make a big f*ckin' dream,” I always mutter to myself.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking